29 augustus 2007

24/08/07

Then you can also experience the opposite of this. Sometimes you meet people whom you feel connected with. You might not know what’s connecting you straight away but after a while when you get to know them better, you’ll find something and you’ll think, that’s it. Or sometimes when you get to know them the connection fades, I think that means that you still have a connection but that it’s something you share that you don’t know, on a higher plane of some sort, the human material things are holding you back. It’s more special, but also more difficult.

It can be really strange, because when you first meet it’s like you’ve known eachother for a long, long time. It can freak you out. In a while you both start to talk about it and realise that you both feel the connection. I think it’s one of the greatest feelings on earth and they’re very rare too, it’s not often that you get this experience. It’s kind of like a soulmate.

You can have the kind of soulmate that you know for a long time and you know just about everything about eachother (like a best friend). And then you have the kind that I described too you earlier, it’s often a start of a very good friendship.

I’m lucky to have met someone like that, it’s really special to me because I know that not many people get this lucky to meet a person like that. You can feel the bond even if you know nothing of the other person, but still you know you’re connected.

You know, that’s when your aura’s change too. If you interact with your soulmate, both your aura’s become one, you don’t give anything and you don’t take away from the other person. You are both as one, like one cloud surrounding you. That’s why everything seems so easy around that person. You’re at ease, you don’t have to feel ashamed or embarrased or anything, it all comes naturally.

In normal conversation with a friend, family or someone you meet, your aura gives and takes depending on the situation. If your conversation goes equally both ways then you take some energy from the other one and you receive some. (exemple: when you’re sharing something out of your life you take energy (a kind of attention) of your companion and vice versa.)

If the conversation is just one person that keeps on talking the whole time then he is taking your energy away drastically, your soul will tell you that you don’t want this and that you should end the conversation. The other person is absorbing all your energy and isn’t giving anything back. So in good conversations it is really important to understand eachother and be interested in what the other person says. And try to show that too.

24 augustus 2007

23/08/07

When people say: ‘you’re as old as you feel like’ that’s how old your soul is. You can have very young people who will seem much older when you talk to them, that’s because they have a wise (ancient) soul. So indeed you are as old as you feel or make yourself.

It’s a strange thing a soul, but everyone is born with one. How you turn out to be, later on in life just depends on the choises you make in your lifetime. You can ask the questions ‘Does the soul just appear when we are born? Or did it already exist?’. Well, opinions on that topic are very different. I believe that your soul already exists when you are born and that it searches for the right body to be born in.

Don’t ask me where the soul was before we were born because I don’t know. I would be lying if I gave you an explanation. So despite what some people say, nobody knows what is or is not before birth, nore after death.
I like to think that the soul lives on in the world, as I already told you, but who knows what happens next? That’s an adventure. So you could state that the adventure begins when death is near.

There is so much I want to tell you but it’s all mixed up inside my head, so sometimes it’s hard to focus on one thing and write it down…but I’ll try to keep it together…

Some people speak of karma and halo’s and so many other things,…I speak of a soul. As though I do believe that every person and thing has an aura around him or her. It reflects your mood, your emotions. It appears in colours, not all colours at the same time but every colour has a meaning, so depending on your mood the colour change. Red to purple is when you’re getting annoyed to angry, green is when you are calm and at peace with things and yourself, and so on and so on. Offcourse there are lots and lots of different shades in the colours.

You can compare it to a fog that surrounds your body but in a colour, it moves constantly around you. And in the back of you head, pointed towards the sky, there is a very thin, fine white line, that’s your lifeline. If you are meant to die, yout line get's cut.

Some people claim that they can see aura’s, I believe them but that’s every (wo)man’s opinion to (her)himselve. You can compare it to seeing all the individual parts of a wholeness, because if you see them then the colours are brighter too.
If you have seen it before you will know what I mean. Offcourse aura’s are much more difficult to see but that doesn’t mean that they aren’t there. It’s a bit like reading people, to judge someones character people call it.

If I meet new people I can read them and see if they have good or bad intentions. Not all the people but most of them. I get the creeps from people I can’t read, I think it means that something is wrong about them, it can be a big secret or a thing in their personality, so I usually stay away from people like that. I think it means that tey’re trying their best to hide things (big things, not secrets like everybody has) or that they have done something wrong or there’s something fishy about them.

14/08/07

some days I won’t feel like writing because it’s to hard, but here are some brief texts I wrote in between:

Today hurt is overflowing my heart.
Try not to think about it.
Stupid little thing, moves my feelings.
Why? Because I cared.
No one knows…

and another one:

All is lost in the shining of the moon.
What once was a path, is now in decay.
And all of this because the truth wasn't spoken
and hurt was inflicted in the hart.

06/08/07

If there is too much information in your head you can feel confused or you can overreact on some things. I’ve reached the stage where if I overreact or if I bite people’s heads of, I know I’m doing it. That’s really annoying because even though I know it, I can’t stop myself. It helps to apoligize right after it happens, then you don’t have to feel so guilty about doing it.

Just to say that because your mind is in overdrive, you act and react in a different way. It’s really fascinating to see yourself doing things that you are aware of but that you don’t want to do.
So writing really helps for me. Because of this overdrive my mood changes constantly. It’s hard sometimes but also good in a weird kind of way. Because if something good happens, you’re over the moon about it. So that means if you look at the bright things, you still have a lot of happy moments even if you’re blue or not feeling well,…

You have to know that everything that I explain here takes a lot of selfcontrol. I’m an expert in it. Maybe even to the extreme, but that’s my problem not yours. It also helps you to read people, well, I call it reading people…it means to see if someone is good inside or has good intentions or if something is wrong or bad about a person. If I meet new people I can tell if I will like them or if it’s best to stay away from them. Because bad people or people with bad karma can drain the energy right out of you. That’s not good, so I avoid them. But on the other hand if you meet people with whom you really click, you receive energy and you give them back your energy too. That’s what makes a bond between people. Maybe I’ll explain some more later.

I want to explain personal space to you. This is a part of your soul. Everything in your soul is stored in an order of somekind. So to visualise it, good things on one side and bad things on the other side. Traumatic things, sad things, everything has it’s place.


When you find yourself in a situation for the first time, it happens, and then the memory fades and calms down and then it get’s a place in your soul and in your memories. Now traumatic things, or actually all the real heavy emotions take longer to settle down. So they get a place inside but aren’t quite yet all bundled into one space, they sort of hang in between spaces for a longer time. This is because our mind needs a lot more time to process and close these feelings. And they are more fragile too. You know how you can remember things or have memories about something?

Well, it’s much easier to trigger the heavy emotions then the normal ones. So if you see or hear anything that reminds you of one of your heavy feelings, you remember it all over again and they seem more alive then the regular ones. That is because they aren’t closed yet.

So in this way you can find out which issues your mind has still got problems with to process. Normally you will work on those problem cases and so they will settle down easier until there are none left. Then you are completely free of mind. Mind you that this isn’t easy. Only few people manage to do this.

You may ask yourself, how do you ‘work’ on these things? That’s the hard part actually. Some people go to a psychologist to help them work trough their issues. And it helps in most of the cases. Maybe I’ll do it too, you can see it as a step between things, to help you resolve your stuff. There is a point to all of this! I wanted to tell you about a bubble. I’ll explain.

Some people (it’s rare and appears with people who have a lot of imagination). So they create a bubble around them, no not a wall because in the bubble things can come in and go out. This bubbe protects them and also holds control over things. All the good things and even little bad things and things that can be kept under control can come into the bubble and leave the bubble without any kind of problem. But, and this is a big ‘but’, if there is a situation where they don’t have control over something then the bubble protects them and doesn’t let it in, it blocks negative influences.

So they live in their own protected world, because they decide what get’s in and what stays outside and naturally that way bad things stay outside. This is not healthy but it is a waty of living and most of the time they can pull it off living like that. They can always do what they want, when they want and get what they want.

If you live for years and years in this bubble, then it seems like there is no turning back. Most people learn how to deal with stuff at young age but bubblepeople don’t because the bubble doesn’t let them. So later they realise in one way or another that they can’t keep living in this bubble because that’s not reality. So they have to try and make the bubble more fragile so more real things can come in, and bad things too.

This is really hard to do because they aren’t used to living in the real world and they will freak out a lot in the beginning. Because when they encounter a situation where something goes wrong or really bad and they can’t get away from it, it’s a really huge problem for them. They will try to get away from it, kicking and screaming if necessary…and then if they can’t get away from it they will start to overreact! But in a big way. It’s because as I said they’re not used to bad things happening like that and they don’t know how to handle it, so they flip completely in their minds.



It is’t a good thing but they have to keep working on it.
They have to because life is life and not they’re own created perfect world. It isn’t reality they live in. It’s peacefull, nice and quite and relaxing yes that’s trough. So you can see what they’re thinking, why leave this perfect, harmonious world? And that is the reason why it is so hard to try and live in a grown-up world, they can’t keep avoiding life, well real life that is.

So you can work on the problems you have, even the hard ones.
The first thing that you have to do is realise that you have a problem and what it is exactly and then accept that you have it. This is hard to do but you’ll feel better if you do it, it’s a step closer to knowing yourself.

Second thing is that every time you encounter a part of your problem (ex. In daily situations), recognize it, learn to know when you see it, when it’s happening.
Third thing that you have to do is the next time you recognize it, see it, try to alter the circomstances, try to find another way of dealing with it. This is the hardest part but once you’ve found a way, try to hold on to it, so that you can, in step 4, use it again everytime that something happens. This way you’re solving your original problem and making yourself stronger and more aware of yourself.

As most things in life this isn’t going to be easy and certainly aren’t going to be fixed in a small period of time. It all depends a lot on yourself, how you handle it and how persistant that you are.

You know, I’m writing this stuff down from inside of my head and I’m thinking, you can learn a lot from yourself. Because it’s always easier to give advice then to follow your own.

02/08/07

Energy.

I believe that every human being exists of energy, which means that you drive on it, you need it to do things. If you have a full energy level, you won’t even notice that you live for your energy because you don’t feel the need for it. You can just live your live. But when your energylevel is drained then you feel tired, hopeless,you don’t feel like doing anything. Then you need to reload. It’s really tough when you lost a lot of your energy, I know, I’ve been there. I prefer a full energylevel any time.

It can happen because of a lot of different factors. Stress is the biggest one.And by stress I don’t mean the normal healthy dose that everybody has. If several bad things happen to you, your body keeps on going but your mind wants a break, it’s telling you to stop. But it’s not that easy so you just keep on going and going… That’s when your energylevel drops drastically. And eventually you will reach a stade where you just can’t go on anymore. You’re not hungry anymore, you cry for no reason, everything hurts, you’re not thinking straight anymore… and the list goes on.

If you stay in this state of mind for too long, you will stumble into a depression. That’s why it’s really important to deal with your problems, don’t keep them bottled up, it’s not good for you. Once you are in that place it’s gonna take a long, a very long time to recover. It’s always easier to lose energy then to build it up again. It’s nor gonna be fixed in a day, a week or even a month. There will be days that just suck, when you can’t even find the energy to try. But you have to try tough, even if your mind is telling you: leave me alone! I know it’s not easy but try to see the positive things trough the miserie. You can do it! I know you can, because if I can do it so can you!

I know that life can sometimes treat you hard but you still have to try, it will make you stronger for the next time you’ll feel like this. And don’t be like “the next time?”, don’t be naïve, that’s life. The next time you can say to yourself “I did it last time so I can do it again now!”.

Your mind can play tricks on you sometimes, but tricks are all they are, so try to see trough them. For example, if you had a really rough day, everything goes wrong and people are annoying you like hell and at the end of the day you even have a headache, that’s hard but the point is that even in a day like that there is a bright side. In this case it could be, I got trough the day! Or Tomorrow is gonna be better!



If it is really that hard for you it helps to take it one day at a time. That way you don’t have to worry about ALL of your problems, just the little ones of that day. When you feel a bit better doing this for a while, than you can open your mind to a bigger problem that you’re faced with. BUT just 1! And so you go through your list of problems until you have solved them all, or maybe not solved but at least till you can handle them in your mind. It is important to take your time doing this, don’t expect it to be resolved in no time.

You know, I have a lot of problems right now and it really helps me to write these things down because it clears my head, how strange that might sound J But once these things are out of the way, my head finds the space to deal with other problems, and so we go on and on. One day at a time and one day better than the next. We’ll see what life has in store for me but whatever comes next, I know that I will get through it, one way or another. This is actually the strongest I’ve ever been in my life, I really amaze myself sometimes. But then again, life makes you strong. I have a very powerfull soul, sometimes too hard…

01/08/07

Well, I realised a lot of these things when I was on a trip to some good friends of me in Sweden. They’re little village is surrounded by woods. Now, you have woods in Belgium too but not like that. The colours, the light, it’s incredible actualy.

I first started to realise these things when I was alone in the forest. If you look with your soul, you can see everything so much brighter. Every leaf and every branch, all the stories, even if they are a part of the wholeness of the tree, I could see them all. All the different leaves on the ground. The animals, everything, wow,…I know you’re thinking “get real!” but it’s just not easy to explain if you haven’t had a moment like that by yourself.

You know, most people only see the whole picture and not all of the elements that make that picture. They are the people who say: “waw, a forest, seen it all before!Let’s go!”
But you should really try it sometimes. Just stand still and look at everything, take in the envirement. It’s so peacefull.

I also went to the beach, so beautifull. The moon was really shiny, there was a ray of light falling down on the ocean. It seemed as if the moon was creating a path directly towards you, it almost seemed as if you could walk straight up to it. It’s still my favourite, the moon, it will always look different, one sight even more beautifull than the next. But it will always be there, something familiar, reliable.

I’m getting off track now,…
The point is, if you see it all, it’s like you can feel your soul nourishing on it. You can actually feel your body absorbing it. It’s a very mighty feeling, it gives you the energy you need, to go on. It’s like when people say, recharging your batteries.

Ah yes, remind me that I must talk to you about energy! I want to say a million things at once..haha..

You will get the hang of seeing things quite easily. But don’t stress if you can’t directly feel it. It takes a free, relaxed and open mind to do it, it takes time if you’ve never done it before.
Just once in a while, when you are somewhere where you are relaxed or at a place you like or find beautiful, just try it. You can do it in nature, with people even in rooms or with things, but I recommend that you begin with nature, that’s the easiest to start with, the other ones take more concentration in the beginning. After a while you will feel it coming inside of you, you’ll see…be patient.

31/07/07

I wanted to put my thoughts down, I had to.
But it’s not gonna be easy because at night i have a million thoughts floating through my head. But by then i'm to tired to write them down so if they don't really come out the right way it's because it's harder during the day but hey we’ll see…

So the soul…

I think, no I feel that we live in a world of souls. Everywhere.
The spaces you see, like the sky, the sunset & sunset, the light falling trough the trees on sunny days, even the carpet of leaves in a forest, they’re all souls.
Because, you see, everyone has a soul inside of them and every soul is different. Some people have souls that are very bright and just wats to break free, others have souls that are there but with a capsule around them, protected or as I believe harmed. And then there are the people who have souls but don’t even realise it.

The biggest part of the world belongs to the last group of people, about 80 % I would say. So that means that about 20 % of the worlds population realises that they have a soul. That’s shockingly few I think. And of the 20% about two thirds knows how to handle it.

A soul is who you are, not your character or what you do or stuff like that but really just YOU. And it also wants to expand… because a soul is your feelings, your emotions, everything that you live for (not the material stuff offcourse).

Well, I belong to the first group of people, my soul wants to burst so that it can be free, but offcourse that is not gonna happen, well I hope not soon anyway, there’s still a lot of work to be done. But I can keep feeding it until I die. Because when you die that’s when your soul get’s to be set free, that’s when it leaves the body where it’s been trapped in.

…(day at work) where was I?…hm, let me reread a part…

Ah yes,

So when it’s finally free you become part of the world, part of everything and the more nourished your soul is, the more you feel the bigger picture…well,you won’t but your soul will.

I know it’s hard to understand, if you don’t have the awareness yet but think about it, it’s all quite simple really. Ok, now I can hear you thinking, but how can I be aware? And how do I expand my soul? Well first things first. Before you can talk about expanding, you have to first realise that your soul is there and always have been.

Think about the things you’ve been through, hard times, good times, exiting things and even scary things. All of these things make your soul bigger en brighter. Because it doesn’t matter if the feelings that come with it are good ones or bad ones, that just means that you have expirienced both ways and the more ways the more vercitile your soul gets.


I’ll give an example, I lost my grandmother when I was twelve, that’s a big deal at that age. Because that was the first encounter with death. And automatically you start to think about it. What’s it about? What’s death?…I will die too…hm so you get a conclusion out of it for yourself that you take with you for the rest of your life. You can adjust the view on it later on in life but the point is, that’s how your soul is formed.

Now think about all thesituations in your life (and there are a lot of them!Good and bad!). Can you see or at least understand how those things together expand your soul? And that’s just one way of expanding or forming your soul. You’ve got belief, religion,travels, experiences,… a million things.

I’ve always thought of myself beeing a free soul, but in fact I wasn’t. There were too much obligations, stress, things to do. Now I realise that the beauty of everything is right in front of us. You just have to look at it. And by beuaty of things I don’t mean litterally beauty, dark things can be beautifull too, you just have to see it.

…going home…